Structure & planning for autistic adults and adolescents; care & coaching for their families.
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For schools and clinicians
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A short note on demand avoidance
What tends to help, what tends to make it worse, and why the usual incentive charts often fail.
A request that arrives as a demand can trigger a genuine loss of capacity rather than refusal. The distinction matters because refusal responds to consequences and loss of capacity does not.
What tends to help
Declarative language. “The bags are by the door” rather than “get your bag”.
Genuine choice, including the choice not to.
Removing the audience. Most escalation is about being watched.
What tends to make it worse
Reward charts, which convert a request into a public record of failure.
Countdowns and timers used as pressure rather than information.
Repeating the instruction more firmly.
None of this is a diagnostic framework and I do not use it as one. It is a set of adjustments that reduce the cost of ordinary days.
This guide is free to copy, print, and forward, including to schools and clinicians. If a section is wrong or unclear, tell me and I will change it — hello@glideslopeautism.com.